SUICIDAL is SUICIDE!

credits: http://billgoldentalks.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/suicide-teen.png

Have you thought of committing suicide?.... I'd be honest with you, naisip ko na yan ng madaming beses. I even tried committing suicide when I was a teenager.  I thought of hanging myself, drink poison, lotion, shampoo, slit my wrist, jump in a building, I'll do anything to end my life. I was devastated. I was nobody. I felt unloved......  But as you can see, I'm still alive!

Actually, until now, I still think of that but I can't go any further. I'm loving my life. Sometimes, life may be too harsh to us, you think that no one understands or no one loves you. Is really life fair?.....

Nowadays, there are too many news about suicide. No age and gender preference at all. And every time I'm hearing news like that, I can't help myself to feel what victims felt before they decided to do such thing. Sometimes, I wonder, am I really too coward because I failed to do what they did? Wrong kind of thinking but this is REALITY! Maybe some can relate to the situation.. torn between two decisions - either a  YES or a NO - ,

OR   Am I just lucky because GOD never fails me? Binigyan nya ba ako ng takot sa Kanya?

... I just wanna comment on the recent suicide news, anyway this is my own perception. Please don't judge me. 

Nagpakamatay siya dahil hindi siya nakapag enroll o makapag enroll. OO ang unibersidad na iyon ay para sa mahihirap na matatalino DAPAT, ngunit hindi na yata ganoon ngayon ayon sa mga balitang lumalabas. Ang akin lamang, madaming ganoon din ang sitwasyon. Pero ang mag pakamatay dahil hindi maka pag aral ay hindi kailan man naging sapat na dahilan upang mag pakamatay. Kung kapos sa pera, gumawa ng paraan. Kung hindi kayang masustentuhan ng magulang ang pag aaral, mag sumikap. Madami naman ganun ngayon at kahit naman mag pa-noon. Ika nga nila, hindi hadlang ang kahirapan para hindi ka makapag aral. Madami pa rin naman working students ngayon. 

 Hindi ko alam kung anong pinag daanan niya pero sana naging mas matatag siya para harapin ang bukas. Maaga pa sana para sumuko. Ngunit para sa kanya ay huli na ang lahat. May you rest in peace.

At para sa mga nag sulong ng gantong batas sa unibersidad, sana nagawan na lang din ng paraan o napag isipan ang tamang dapat gawin para naiwasan pa sana ang mga ganitong kaganapan. Nakaka pang hinayang din na buhay ang kapalit nang lahat. Ang edukasyon ay para sa lahat.

 Problems?.. they're just there moreso they are everywhere. You can't rid of them.

What I do whenever I'm down and suicidal, I cry. I cry while praying. Yes I talk to God. I cry myself to sleep. Most of the time, I write. Yes, I write what I feel. And these give me feelings of relief. Kahit na sobrang sama ng loob ko at sa tingin ko mabigat yun problema ko, these are the things I do. Really help me get through.Now, I'm stronger.. Stronger than yesterday sabi nga sa song ni Britney Spears.

Reach out. Madaming tutulong sayo. Yun mga hindi mo inaasahan pero dadating sila para sayo. O kung ikaw yung tipong hindi nagsasalita at ayaw mong maging pabigat sa iba, naiintindihan kita. Pareho tayo.

I did this blog because I wanted to help. I want to help you! If you are feeling suicidal I want to share with you what I read when I felt that kind of thing. I accidentally found the site while browsing. I don't know but there was a feeling that I should read it and I read it and helped me.

here's the site:

this is not mine. no inttention of infrigement; I just wanted to help.

 http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/

LIFE IS SO SHORT, don't make it shorter. Enjoy and cherish what you have. Dream big and never surrender. 

Kung ano man ang gumugulo sayo, kung ano man ang problema mo.. KAYA MO YAN!  

You can do it!

 HEYAH!